


Blue Lips, Blue Veins

by kawiikitkat



Series: Blue Roses (Shyan) [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Smoking, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawiikitkat/pseuds/kawiikitkat
Summary: Blue Rose:mystery, attaining the impossible, love at first sightBlue, the most human color.





	Blue Lips, Blue Veins

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has a lot of smoking, blood, and crying. You have been warned. Also "---~---" is a transition into a new part.
> 
> The title is from the song "Blue Lips" by Regina Spektor.

"How long?"

"Not much. Four? Maybe five months." Ryan took a drag from his cigarette, then blew out the sickly grey smoke. "I've lost count at this point."

In between Steven's coughing fit, he grimaced. "You shouldn't smoke. It'll only make it worse." Ryan knew it would make it worse; that was the point. But he put it out anyway and apologized. "Sorry, Steven. It's just been really..."

"Stressful?"

Ryan nodded. "And painful." He added. He noticed Steven cringe at his comment, but then gave him an empathetic look. Not long ago, Steven had to deal with this exact problem with Andrew, his current partner. Ryan was jealous of their happy relationship, wishing that it would be that easy with him and Shane. But Shane wasn't like Andrew. Shane had an intimidating, overly-sarcastic edge to him. He could brush off every worry of his shoulders like nothing. No fears, no concerns, he was almost invincible. That was one of the reasons Ryan liked-well, loved-him. Deep down, under all those layers of stupidity and sarcasm, Shane had a heart of gold. And he was insanely cute.

"So, what type of flowers are they?"

"Roses. Blue roses." Ryan said flatly. Steven, slightly surprised, nodded. "I've never seen blue roses before."

"Me neither." Ryan wished he still had his cigarette. "They were pretty at first. But now they scare me. It that weird?"

"Nah." Steven reassured. "I had to deal with white lilies. They're pretty common, so I have to be careful about going outside or else I have a panic attack."

"Sorry to hear that." Ryan deadpanned. He took a sip from the coffee that Steven made for him. Cold. His throat itched: a bad sign. He coughed into his hand, hoping that nothing would come out. He took his hand away from his mouth. A bold blue petal with a few droplets of crimson blood remained. ' _Shit._ ' Steven was already passing him a napkin. Steven was the only person he knew that had the disease. Without him, Ryan would probably be dead already.

"Do you know how much surgery is?" Ryan asked, taking the napkin. Surgery was the last option that Ryan wanted to make, but he still had Unsolved to work on and he didn't want to let his fans down by, y'know, dying. But Ryan still wanted to admit his feeling to Shane before thinking about that option. Just not now.

Steven pondered into his coffee mug, his brows furrowed. "About 800,000? Sometimes it can go past a million." ' _Yup, definitely out of the question._ '

"Be honest with me, Steven." Ryan inquired. "What options do I have?"

Steven looked uncomfortable with the question, but answered. "Well, the best choice, in my opinion, is to tell Shane. If he feels the same way, that's great! If he doesn't..." He trailed of stirring the cold, bitter liquid in his cup. "You'll still have the disease." Ryan buried his head into his hands and rubbed his eyes.

"By then, surgery is the next best option. But that means-"

"-I'll forget about my feelings for Shane." Ryan broke in, shaking his head. He _really_ wished he had a cigarette right now.

"I'm sorry, Ryan." Steven attempted to catch the other's eyes, but failed. Ryan was focused on his coffee. "The last choice you have is dying." Grim silence followed. Ryan, with blank eyes, got up from his seat and headed towards the balcony. "Where are you going?" Steven called after him, worried.

"Just need some fresh air." Ryan slid the glass door behind him and took out his pack of cigarettes from his jean pocket. He lit it, letting the small flame from the lighter warm his face for a few seconds. After a few drags, he choked on something lodged in his throat. He coughed it up into the collar of his shirt. Shaking, he pulled it away, revealing a large stain of blood and some blue rose petals. Heavy tears threatened in his eyes. He let them fall onto his shirt, mixing tears with blood.

Ryan kept smoking his cigarette until it was ash.

\---~---

With a warm cup of coffee, Shane walked back towards his desk. And yet, still no Ryan. The next episode of Unsolved still had to be edited and Ryan hadn't shown up in days. The past few months were odd with his absences once in a while, but these current weeks were especially bad. Everytime Shane caught Ryan walking by, he would ask what was up, but would only get the same answers. A fever. A cold. A stomach ache. Shane wasn't an idiot, no one could be absent from work for a full week and a half because of a stomach ache.

No one from the office knew what was going on with him either. He questioned Jen: "A cold, maybe?" Then the Try Guys: "No clue." The oddest response was Andrew's.

"Hey, Andrew. Do you have a minute?" Shane found him passing by in an empty hallway.

"Sure. What do you need?" He asked in his monotone voice. He raised his tea up to his mouth to take a sip.

"Do you know what's going on with Ryan?"

Andrew stopped mid sip, looking like a deer in headlights. He gave an awkward cough and shook his head. "Sorry man. Have you asked him yourself?"

"Of course! He always says the same thing. He says he's sick or something." Shane huffed.

Strangely, Andrew chuckled. "Of course. I've heard that one before."

"What do you mean?" Shane pondered. Andrew's eyes grew. "Nevermind." He hurried off, not wanting to answer anymore questions. Shane still thought about his strange response. ' _Was he hiding something?_ '

\---~---

"Ryan!"

' _Fuck_ '

Ryan quickly took the cigarette out of his mouth and crushed it under his shoe outside of the Buzzfeed office building. He actually decided to go to work that day, thinking that his sickness wasn't so bad at that moment. Turns out, it was actually worse than usual. But he did manage to avoid Shane for the whole day. Until now.

He swiveled around to see Shane towering above him. "Where the hell have you been, dude?!" Even with his hands on his hips and a frown plastered on his face, he still looked good.

"I told you already. Sick." Ryan responded blandly, trying to get out of this situation as quick as possible. But Shane was already grabbing by the shoulder to face him.

"Ryan, this is serious. _I'm_ the one who's **sick** of you not being here. Have you even finished that video for this week?" Ryan hated when Shane talked to him that way. ' _You're such a bitch, y'know that?_ ' He wanted to spit at him, but didn't.

"Yeah, actually I have." Ryan retorted. "I'll send you an email of it." Swiftly, he turned away and began walking to his car.

"Ry, please. Just tell me what's going on." God, he hated that nickname. No he didn't, he loved it.

"Nothing's going on." The shorter man murmured. He already felt something rising in his throat. "See ya, Shane."

"Y'know I worry about you, Ryan." Any noise around them fell, leaving them in dead silence. Ryan's blood ran like a cold river inside him. His car was _so close_ , yet felt miles away. ' _ **Get out of there, idiot.**_ '

"You don't have to." Ryan walked to his car before Shane could protest.

\---~---

"Ryan, you okay in there?" Andrew called through the bathroom door in his and Steven's apartment.

There was no response, only the putrid sound of someone vomiting. And crying. Ryan was on his knees, quivering, and hovering above the toilet bowl. In between the vomiting, he started into the dark red abyss with freckles of royal blue. He felt guilty for ruining his friends' bathroom, but those feelings were interrupted by more throwing up.

Unapologetically, Ryan sobbed. His whole body shook from the violent cries. After what felt like hours, he sniffed the rest of his tears away and tried his best to clean up his mess. The toilet was still a faded shade of pink. He fixed himself up as best as he could and unlocked the bathroom door. Andrew and Steven stood outside; Steven handed him a glass of water while Andrew led them back to the living room.

"How are you, Ry?" Steven gently asked.

"I feel like shit." Ryan bet he looked like shit, too, with his puffy, red eyes and messy hair. He drank the rest of his water and sunk into the coach.

"You can crash here tonight." Andrew suggested. Ryan absentmindedly nodded. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "You wanna talk about it?"

Ryan only stared out the window, his mind fading away. After a few moments of silence, he mumbled in a raspy voice. "I can't believe I told him that. He told me that he was worried about me. That he _**worries**_ about me." Ryan groaned.

"And I... told him that he shouldn't." Guilt bubbled in his stomach, threatening to throw up again. "And as I was driving away, he was just... staring at me. Waiting."

"Listen to me, Ryan." Steven leaned over and placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan didn't flinch or look up. He only continued to look out the window. "This isn't your fault. When I went through this, I thought the same way you do right now." Out of the corner of his eye, Ryan saw Andrew look away. "That made my life terrible. I threw up every second I was awake. So I'm telling you this now: **don't feel guilty**. These feelings aren't your fault. You didn't choose to have them."

Lifeless silence followed. For once, Ryan took his eyes off the window and onto Steven, who was looking at him with somber eyes. Without warning, Ryan burst into tears and pulled Steven into an embrace. He knew he was getting tears on Steven's shoulder, but he was grateful that there wasn't any blood. Soon, Andrew joined the hug and both consoled Ryan as he wept.

When the crying ended, Ryan pulled away and excused himself to the bathroom. Inside, he noticed that he missed a few spots of blood on the sink. Mixed with frustration and embarrassment, he wiped them away with his bare hands, leaving a stain on his fingers.

He washed the red marks away under the sink and for a second, he chuckled. ' _Wish getting rid of problems was that easy._ ' But his grim expression returned, knowing that this problem couldn't be washed away or avoided. Ryan stared at the mirror in front of him.

Puffy, red eyes. Messy hair tossed in every direction. Light tear tracks running down his cheeks.

His mind flashed back to the scene outside of the building. Shane's light brown hair appeared fluffy and untamed. His frame, though unusually tall, was well-built and lean. And his eyes- God, Ryan's mind swirled at the thought of them.

And apparently, so did his stomach, because Ryan spat out five rose petals covered in blood. ' _The last choice you have is dying._ ' Steven's words echoed in his head. Ryan reached into his pocket, pulling out one last cigarette gratefully. The smoke surrounded him, making him dizzy and sick. Leaning against the counter, he thought.

And thought.

And thought.

More vomit lingered in his throat, but he swallowed it dryly. After a few minutes, he tossed away the remains and sprayed the bathroom with an ungodly amount of air freshener. He barged out of the bathroom, surprising Steven and Andrew out of their seats.

"Tomorrow." Ryan spoke. "Tomorrow, I'm telling Shane."

\---~---

' _It's alright. You've got this. It's going to go fine._ ' Ryan doubted it. He glanced at the time on his phone.

8:42 p.m.

' _Eighteen minutes left. Fuck._ '

Shaking, Ryan rushed to his balcony for a quick smoke to ease his nerves. He scavenged his pockets for the pack, muttering "Shit. Shit. Shit!" under his breath. No cigarettes. He returned to his spot on the coach, disappointed and even more nervous.

8:47 p.m. ' _Thirteen fucking minutes left._ '

A sharp knock echoed from the front door. Zero minutes left.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Ryan, trying his best not to look like a deer in headlights, opened the door. There stood the last person he wanted to see.

"Hey, Ry."

"Hi, Shane."

Ryan moved aside to let Shane into his apartment. He led him to his couch where Shane sat at one end and Ryan at the other. ' _Don't let this be awkward, Bergara. Just say something._ '

But Ryan didn't say anything. He only let the silence consume them.

"Why are you doing this, Ryan?"

Ryan snapped his head snapped his head at Shane, who was staring at the wall in front of him. "Wh-What do you mean? I called you cause I said I wanted to talk? What's the matter?"

"'What's the matter?' My best friend avoids me for over five months and then out of the blue he calls me up cause he _wanted to talk_?" Shane scoffed.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Are you happy now?"

Shane kept his eyes on the wall, a pissed-off look on his face. "You're fucking ridiculous."

"Listen, Shane. I didn't call you here just so you could **bitch** and whine and-" Ryan paused, realizing what he was saying. Shane was still focused on the wall.

"Okay," Ryan spoke softly and cautiously. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. And I shouldn't have avoided you for so long. I know you were worried about me and I was selfish for lying to you. But I had a reason." Finally, Shane tore his eyes away from the wall. His eyes gazed into Ryan's, waiting.

"I wasn't really sick."

Shane gave out a dry, humorless laugh. "Tell me something I don't know." Ryan wanted to **fucking** slap him, just to shut him up. But he didn't, and continued.

"Well, not in the way I told you." Shane's expression changed into confusion.

"I started talking to Steven and Andrew a lot more for...support."

"Guess I'm not good enough to support my own best friend. huffed Shane. ' _There it fucking goes again._ '

"Shane, shut the fuck up! I'm trying to tell you something and you keep-"

"Well, why don't you go talk to your new friends since they're _so_ good at listening?!"

"Hey! Don't you dare talk about them that way!"

"Oh, my bad. Why don't I just go tell them that their new friend, Ryan Bergara, is a **fucking** prick that walks away from people that genuinely care about him?!" Shane was on his feet now.

"'Genuinely care about him', my ass! You can't even let me speak for a minute without interrupting me with a shitty comeback!" Ryan was up, too, face to face with his love.

"Y'know what? Fine. Speak. Tell me exactly why you avoided me for five whole months." With the spotlight on him, Ryan couldn't speak. He only started at Shane with pure anger in his eyes.

"You wanna know what I think the reason is?" Shane questioned bitterly. "You hate me."

Ryan's blood ran cold. Not because he was right, but because he was exactly wrong.

"You avoid me, you meet other people. Hell, right now you're trying to make me hate you. But it's not gonna work. Y'know why? Because you're my **friend**. You may get on my nerves, you may piss me off, and you may hate me. But time and time again, I'll still be your friend. Because friends care about each other and I care about you **so much**."

Ryan saw tears spring from Shane's eyes before he turned away. He swiftly wiped them away on his sleeves. The room was silent except for Shane's sniffling. Ryan stood frozen and numb, but deep inside, he wanted to reach out and hold Shane. Take him in his arms and let the other play with his hair. He wanted to kiss him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Shane looking at him.

"So, Ryan? Was I right? Do you hate me?" Shane was fuming, his chest rising and falling at an uncontrollable pace.

Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off with a violent cough. For those brief seconds, as he covered his mouth, Ryan prayed that nothing would come up. No blood. No roses. No more questions. He peered down at his hands which were covered in a crimson red hue. In the center of his palm layed a fully bloomed **blue rose**. As he stood there, staring at the sharp contrast of color on the palms of his tan hands, dizziness fogged his head. He felt his legs buckle beneath him, threatening to fall over. It was like he was in a dream. Not really there. Only watching from the outside. As his body was about to give out, a strong pair of arms caught him, holding him up.

"Ryan? Ryan!? Listen, buddy, you gotta stay with me. I'm gonna call an ambulance, just sit down for a second." A fuzzy and panicked voice spoke as he was placed on the couch. The arms that were holding him had disappeared from his sides, leaving him limp and alone on the sofa. Ryan wanted to protest, but his mind was already fading from him. In the distance, he could hear a muffled voice stammer to an unknown person. More blood and petals dripped from Ryan's mouth.

And then his mind went blank.

\---~---

White. Bright. Numb.

Three shadowy figures hovered at the foot of his bed. After a moment of speaking, one of them left. The two remaining shadows cautiously moved closer.

"Ryan?"

Ryan wanted to say something, but just opening his eyes caused his head to pound. He attempted to speak. "Hmm?"

"Take it easy, Ry." A different, deeper voice spoke this time. Ryan groaned and tossed his head to the other side. The rest of the room was clean and illuminated. Next to his bed was a pole that appeared to be an IV stand.

"It's alright, bud. The doctors already put you on some meds. The pain should be going away." The first voice spoke. Ryan could already feel a little more comfortable and relieved. He blinked hard to adjust to his surroundings. After a few blinks, his eyes focused on the two figures next to him.

"Steven? Andrew?" He rasped.

"Hey, you can see us!" Steven chirped. "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess. How long have I been here?"

"Only one night." Andrew responded. "We got a call at around 10 p.m. saying that you were in the hospital. We came here as quick as we could, but the nurses wouldn't let us in until you were better."

Ryan furrowed his brow. "A call? From who? How'd I even end up here?" As he waited for an answer, Steven and Andrew glanced at each other, clearly uncomfortable.

"Honestly, we shouldn't be the ones to tell you this, but-" A rapid knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Steven stood up to check. Andrew simply studied his hands in his lap. A quiet, yet exasperated, argument could be heard in the hidden doorway. Steven reappeared and signaled to Andrew to join him. With both men busy speaking to whoever was causing the ruckus, Ryan enjoyed this small moment of solitude. He tried his best to recall any recent memories, but could only remember splotches or red and blue.

Andrew reappeared from the doorway and announced to Ryan. "Speak of the devil." He gave a final grin and vanished with Steven, deserting him on the hospital bed. From the doorway, emerged a tall, lean, handsome man. **The devil.**

He stood there, hand in his pockets, lost. His face showed no expression. Maybe a bit of shock or sadness if you squinted. Ryan's breath hitched in his throat, locking whatever words he wanted to say in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, the dam in his brain broke. Memories of last night came flooding back.

Swearing.

Crying.

Falling.

Bleeding.

At last, Ryan found his voice. "Hi, Shane."

"Hey, Ryan."

They remained in uncomfortable silence. A feeling of **want** lingered in the air. Shane walked to the chair sitting by Ryan's bed and sat down. Ryan couldn't bear to look at him. He only heard the other man take in a shaky breath.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled or gotten mad at you yesterday. I w-was just upset and frustrated and- but still. You were trying to be reasonable and I just made you feel like the bad guy." Shane paused, having to catch his breath. Ryan wasn't looking at him, but he knew that he was crying.

"And I'm sorry for saying that you hated me. That was so _fucking_ stupid, b-because you don't hate me." Another pause. Shane spoke again, but this time was more cautious.

"And when I saw the blood and the...flowers...I knew. You didn't avoid me cause you hated me. You avoided me cause you-"

"Shane." Ryan cut him off, sharply. At that moment, he wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe because he had something to say. Or maybe it was because he didn't want Shane to say those words. Shane fell silent amd looked directly into Ryan's eyes, that were bloodshot red from lack of sleep.

"I love you. And I have loved you for a while now. Everytime I look at you I just get this pain in my chest. It hurts, but I keep looking, because-well...i-I don't know! You're nice and funny, but you're a sarcastic jerk, too. And I like your hair and your smile and your eyes, but I can't- I just c-cant-" Ryan's voice cracked. His blubbering stopped as large tears swelled in his eyes.

Shane reached for his hand. Ryan noticed this and let his hand lock with Shane's. He couldn't take it anymore. He let the tears wash over his cheeks. Shane shifted his position on the chair in order to hold Ryan as he wept. He cradled the smaller man in his arms, pressing his mouth on the top of his head. "Shh, you're okay. I'm here." Shane repeatedly muttered.

"No Shane, y-you don't get it! I'm not okay! I-I'm going t-to d-" But Ryan couldn't get the final words out. His heart ached too much at the thought of leaving Shane. He only let himself sob into Shane's chest. Shane rubbed circles into his back, patiently waiting for him to quiet down. 

"Ry." Shane spoke. But Ryan didn't reply. He barely even noticed the other's urgent voice. Or how Shane lightly pushed his body away from his to catch his attention. He only continued to hold him tighter, breathing heavily into Shane's shoulder. It was as if Shane was the last bit of life Ryan had. And Ryan didn't want to die.

"Ryan, please." Shane begged.

"I-I'm sorry. Sorry." Ryan sniffled. "I know y-you're mad at me. You probably don't want anything to do with me. But I love you. And I need you. Bu-but-" He painfully pulls their bodies apart and Ryan looks directly into Shane's _beautiful_ eyes.

"I can't have you."

Ryan let's go of his last bit of life, of _love_. He lays back down on his hospital bed and turns away from Shane. He tries with all his might not to cry again. Silence is the only thing in the room. He felt his own mind stumble, grasping at nothing.

"I love you, too, Ryan."

_He stumbled into faith and thought._

It takes Ryan a light year to hear what Shane just said. He's too afraid to turn around and face him, but he hears Shane continue to talk behind him.

"Two years. _Two whole years._ I wasn't quiet sure what the feeling was. You were my best friend, and our friendship was all I ever wanted. Everyday we would smile and laugh, joke around and act stupid. What we had was like nothing I had ever felt before. But something deep inside me wanted more than that."

_'God, this is all there is.'_

"I wanted it so badly, but I hid those feelings away. I was so... **scared** of them. Everytime we were alone together, my gut told me 'this is your chance, tell him.' But I couldn't. I was so afraid to lose our friendship. I didn't want to ruin what we had together."

_The pictures in his mind arose, and began to breathe._

"I was in love with you, but...you were my friend. And I knew that if I told you how I felt it would change us forever. I knew- or rather, I thought- that you wouldn't want what I wanted. So I hid away my feelings. It hurt at first, but as we became closer, I was...happy. I cared about you, I cared about us. And we were happy."

_And all the gods and all the world's began colliding on a backdrop of blue._

The silence reappeared, drowning them both. Ryan couldn't feel his own heart beat or breathing. His body was stiff, rigid, numb. He felt sick, but he realized that nothing was in his stomach. Even in this moment of desperation, nothing scratched his throat.

"Did you ever have it? The flowers?"

"No."

"Why?"

Shane gave a bittersweet chuckle. "I'm not completely sure. But I think it's because I was happy with what we had, but you weren't."

"Does that mean I'm selfish for wanting more?"

"No, Ry. We both wanted more. And we were both afraid. We both didn't know what we thought. I don't know why you had to suffer like this and I didn't, but you're not selfish. I swear."

"What did I ever do to deserve someone as great as you, Shane?"

Shane hesitated. "I'm not that great."

Ryan turned over on his bed to face Shane, his eyes wide with shock. "What?! You fucking saved me. You cared about me and you **worried** about me. You put yourself in pain just to keep our friendship. Even when I pushed you away, you were still there."

"But I was an asshole to you! And, yeah, I kept our friendship. But that only hurt you more, didn't it? It sorta feels like I'm lying when I said I cared about you."

"It would have hurt more if you didn't care."

_Blue lips. Blue veins._

A sharp knock echoed on the door. Shane and Ryan looked at each other, knowing what was coming next. _'Please stay.'_ Ryan's eyes said.

_'I can't'._ Shane's replied.

He walked to the door, leaving Ryan in vacant solitude. Tears sprang to his eyes. _'Stay, stay. I need you.' _he wanted to say. But he didn't. He couldn't.__

____

Then, Shane reappeared in the room, looking like he was about to burst into tears. "I'll see you soon, Ryan." And with that, he turned around and was gone again.

____

It was Ryan that bursted into tears at that moment.

____

\---~---

____

Ryan's apartment was way cleaner than the last time he remembered it. Apparently, Steven and Andrew had gone in and tidied it up a bit before the hospital let him go. He set a mental note to thank them for all they did later. But now was not later. Now he could relax. 

____

Ryan and Shane stepped into the living room. Quick flashes of memories passed through their minds, but neither of them spoke of it. As soon as Shane shut the door behind him, Ryan wrapped his arms around Shane's thin frame. He pressed his face into his jacket, breathing in the scent of his partner. 

____

Shane enveloped the other in his arms, too. He bent down to leave a kiss on Ryan's forehead, then trailed down to his cheeks. Ryan tilted his head and presses his lips against Shane's.

____

It was a long kiss, sweet and pure. It felt good to lean into Shane's body and lips, letting the taller man guide their motions. _'Pure bliss.'_ was the only way Ryan could describe it. It was a wish granted. A dream come true.

____

It was real. Really real.

____

Shane separated the kiss and embraced Ryan. He spoke in a soft, raspy voice, which set Ryan's heart racing. 

____

"You're my friend and I care about you."

____

"Me too, bud."

____

"You're my boyfriend and I love you."

____

"Me too, babe."

____

Sweet silence followed.

____

Ryan whispered. "No more blue roses."

____

"No more blue roses."

____

_Blue, the most human color._

____

**Author's Note:**

> Ok this took me SO LONG to write and it's 1:12 am rn but I finally finished it. I'm thinking about writing a prequel and a sequel to this so yeah. And Im really proud of this work and if you liked it leave a kudos/comment/bookmark pls! OK love u all


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